This will be the last newsletter of 2024. We are all too busy this time of year to take on "new." In the USA (and other parts of western culture), we are bombarded this time of year with messages about giving. I wanted to give you something different.

Gift Yourself First

You might be stressed about gifting family, friends, and colleagues. Maybe you are stressed about what's around you or in the world. Breath. Even better, find a new place to breath. Go some place you've been thinking about visiting that's nearby. Sit somewhere you don't normally sit. A new place can help reveal new perspectives.

This time of year, I like to sit near our Christmas tree in the early morning. It helps me reflect on the year and years past. I usually have music (and I've been enjoying this playlist lately.). Journal or not. Maybe you just want to sit. Take a break from "doing" and "planning."

As you sit, you might think of people who have brought you good cheer in the year. You might do something about that.

Share Appreciations

Rather than buying something for someone you truly appreciate this year, why not just tell them. My friend, Jean, had a nice ritual for this. When you next meet the person, look straight into their eyes, say their name, and then say "I appreciate you for ..." and specifically describe what they did for you and how it impacted you. This process works very well in person and surprisingly well in an online call. Don't rush this. Give them time to absorb the appreciation.

Efficient Gifts

Maybe that last suggestion is a little too intimate for you. Let me give you another idea. If someone asks for help and it's something easy for you to do, do it quickly. If you can, practice putting it on the top of your to-do list. Or, do it as soon as they ask.

For me, my efficient gifts typically come in the form of information or connection. Someone asks me "Do you know if...?" or "Do you know anyone that ...?" and if I can respond quickly in email, online chat, or social media, I'll do it right away.

I've been doing this for years after learning it from Christopher Avery and it helps me build and strengthen bonds with people.

Go a Little Further

Over the years, I've developed a corollary to "efficient gifts" that I call "go a little further." If someone asks for help with a project and I find it resonates with my values, I'll help where I can.

These days, book reviews become a common form of this gift for me. I will not accept every request to review a book. But if someone I've met, who I know does good work in the community, writes on a topic that I care deeply about, I'll take on the task. If they only request an endorsement, that's closer to an efficient gift. If they want feedback, we might need to negotiate more on the type of feedback and the time frame.

Maybe reviewing a book is too far of a stretch for you. What would still be relatively easy for you to take on, even with a time investment? Personally, this question allowed me to join many fulfilling volunteer projects. Think about your criteria for "yes" before you take it on. Don't put yourself in obligation. Think about how "joy" may show up if you say "yes."

I hope this gives you some ideas for different kinds of gifts this season.

Mark

P.S., I've already given appreciation gifts and efficient gifts this season. I even gave a "go a little further" gift by reviewing a book for Mun-Wai Chung. Mun-Wai and I met in one of Johanna Rothman's non-fiction writing courses where I learned how she thinks and works with people. You might want to check out her new book, especially if you are a fan of business parables. It will be one of my new recommendations for someone getting started with facilitation in a business setting.

P.P.S., If you didn't notice, the links to people in this article are additional examples of "efficient gifts." Knowing Jean, Christopher, and Johanna have been life-changing for me. I hope you have some life-changing people to appreciate as well.